Good morning Dear Reader,
Firstly, I’m grateful for:
1. Having people in my life to talk to when I have darker moments in life.
2. Andrew gave me a lot of extra hugs and kisses before I left on my trip because I was feeling a bit depressed.
3. With the current life I’ve designed, I don’t have to feel pressured to be anything but me.
With that said, the last few days I was in quite a slump. If you didn’t read my last post, I felt a little lost.
Something about me, I know the path that I’ve chosen in life, isn’t a straight one. Living with depression for so many years has taught me to ride out the highs and the lows. The last few days were a low, so now I am on the uphill journey to the high.
For me, it’s like an adult roller coaster mixed with a kiddy roller coaster mixed with that one ride that goes in circles and swings side to side.
I wouldn’t claim it to be fun but it is interesting to say the least. I have learned a lot about the “human experience” as well as myself. Even though it is beyond inconvenient at times and sometimes dangerous, it does help me become a better writer.
The funny part to me is that I almost look forward to the “highs” even if I know a low low will follow.
In any case, I’m currently on a work trip for my day job. Some extra training I hope to utilize in the work place. It may explain the rise in my emotions. My inner child is so excited to be on my first work trip ever. It’s such a curious feeling.
I don’t know about you, but I’m the type of writer who has 17.2 billion notebooks that are unfinished or unopened. Something about having an endless amount of blank pages waiting to be filled is comforting? It always makes me laugh to think about that. Why do I do that? Why do I collect these little books and never use them?
In any case, I may or may not have mentioned this journal I got. It’s called the 90day goal planner (links below). I saw it on a facebook ad actually and it seemed right up my alley. I bought it and fell in love immediately. The only problem was that after about a week or two, I found myself skipping days (classic me). Then because I felt so ashamed of doing so, I skipped more and more days and kind of hid it in my backpack. That’s pretty typical of me. Hide things away as if they stop existing.
Today though, I had a great (albeit simple) idea. Instead of skipping so many pages, I just went back to the first day I skipped and filled out the page. Like for me, this was almost an epiphany because I have rigid standards about order etc.
I thought “Okay yea, I’m really on day 82, but instead of leaving all these empty pages, I’ll make sure to get the most out of this investment in me.”
Yes it’s intended for 90 days but there’s nothing that states you can’t take a break and pick it back up.
This may seem small but it’s an important lesson for the day: I do not have to hold myself to rigid standards and I can do things my own way.
Just because I missed a day or two doesn’t mean I have to stop altogether. I can keep going.
In any case, I hope you’re day is amazing dear reader. Even if you’re feeling down and you have taken a pause from your goals it’s okay. As long as we’re still alive, we can always resume any goal we set for ourselves.
Thanks for reading and have a great day!